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Happy [belated] New Year

Posted on Jan 6th, 2007 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
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I thought I'd show you all how I sent off the old year. I spent 20 days in the Middle East in December, namely Egypt and Israel.

It was the greatest experience of this life so far. I arrived in Cairo the morning of my birthday and saw everything. I meditated at the base of the pyramids. I was also lucky enough to do the same in the mummy room of the Egyptian Museum. I spoke with nine kings of Egypt. I spent the week of Christmas in Jerusalem. And how refreshing it was to actually see cultures actively employing their faith in everyday life, not just when products need to be moved from the shelf. Cairo was a beautiful culture shock. And Jerusalem was serene and strong.

So here are my many pictures. If you get an opportunity, I'd like to share them with you.

I hope this finds everyone in good health and even better spirits.

Richard

http://picasaweb.google.com/theresalwaystomorrow
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Namaste.

Posted on Dec 2nd, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Img_1202
The cold snap hits his lap like a rock from high in the sky.
To the toes he goes as he throws his woes and stretches out to fly.
Down to the knees his forehead sees what makes the eagles soar.
And the fall of the walls of Acheron makes men move many more.

December brings an ember to the the year, I fear :D

I'm going to see the lions in eleven days. I can feel the drumbeats from here. They're resonating from well into this Earth and I can barely keep myself composed anymore. What, oh what, is in store?







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Daybreak

Posted on Oct 25th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
My_target
Yesterday at 6am my alarm made its noise. Most people would say such a thing is painful, especially on a day when work isn't required, but not me. It sang opportunity :D

Last week I used some old carpet to make some archery targets. I cut a large section into twelve squares total, six for each target. I glued the pieces together with construction-strength adhesive and let them dry. Then, I bored holes and strung rope through them. They turned out better than I had hoped.

I took all my gear to the park next to my apartment complex and found a truly perfect place for it. It's quiet, away from the road. It borders a huge, huge field over which the sun was waking. The tree I found to hold my target was in between me and a steep, tall hill, the best setting possible. I put rope through the targets so I could hang them from different places. My target hung like a picture on the wall, but today the wall was a tree instead. I drove a nail into the tree [sorry, tree] and placed the target squarely. Then, I drew the dots which I hoped would attract my arrows.

I was out there getting situated by 6:30. I had everything ready to go so I sat down and stretched for a little bit. It still wasn't bright enough for projectiles. It wasn't as cold as I had expected, so after a little bit of soul steaming [stretching], I was shedding clothes. Alright. Time to test the targets.

Now, I don't know if you've ever considered it, but to an impoverished and renegade archery amateur, the task of stopping an arrow successfully was fairly daunting. Fifty five pounds pushing a .2 pound arrow is a tremendous proportion. I was really anxious to see how the targets would fare.

The birds had woken and were starting to say something. I didn't really catch it because I was distracted by the burning clouds over the treetops. My trendy safety glasses were fully employed. I wore a sock over my right hand to protect my fingers from the sturdy string snapping. And snap it did. My first shot struck the target with the certainty only an arrow can convey. It made the target bounce off the tree in recoil.

The first shot always, to me, immediately merits an inquiry into the preparation I actually took to make the shot. There's always room for improvement. Regardless, I hit the target from about thirty feet away. In arrow language, thirty feet is sneezing distance. But as I said, I'm renegade. I inched up to the target, moving my head uselessly to try to get different lines of sight before I actually reached it to see with my hands. Sure enough, the target held! The arrow was stopped only a couple layers deep!

I only have nine arrows, four wooden and five fiberglass. So I shot nine of them time and time again, each time taking a look at my accuracy as well as the integrity of the targets. Not a single arrow would go all the way through my target that morning.

Sometime during my first three "nines" of arrows, a woodpecker sounded from a tree down the way. Somewhere between my third and fifth "nine", six deer decided to sprint silently through the open field next to me. They ran in a perfect line, the smallest tailing in the rear. I don't know where they were going, but they sure needed to get there. They're incredible animals.

Soon thereafter, the sun broke over the clouds, over the treeline and over the green field giving way to a tremendously large sky. I shot better after the sun had broken. I had told myself I would shoot a hundred times, and that's exactly what I did. My fingers were sore and my shoulder was tired, but every time I considered my fatigue, I rebuffed with an explicit idea. "I know, with my schedule, I won't be here with this sun and this sky again for at least another week." I put myself mentally into the tedium of work and the responsibilities surrounding it. Then, and rather easily, I understood how necessary it was to pull the string again. I kept shooting.

One hundred shots. Ninety nine arrows hit the target. Only one went a little high and hit the tree. That was in my seventh "nine". It caught me by surprise because, aside from missing the target, it hit the tree and didn't stick. Rather, it launched itself back at me for insulting its purpose by missing. It landed a couple feet from my own feet before I had even moved. It made its point and I shot it again. There are now a hundred holes in my homemade target. The hill was spared that day. And the day was begun.
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Flight.

Posted on Oct 22nd, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
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The sky starts an inch from the ground. Our heads will always be in the clouds whether we like it or not :D
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The turning of seasons and the finding of reasons to love

Posted on Sep 19th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
10104med
I spent the better part of the day in the sun at my beloved urban oasis here in Austin, the Greenbelt. It's an environmentally protected strip of land in an "aquifer recharge zone"
that runs through the majority of the city. Right now there's no moving water, but it's most suitable for things like reading, meditating, yoga...ing and so on.

I parked around 12:30 and started walking the trail down to the riverbed. Every time I've gone previously, I've been frustrated by the noises my shoes make on the ground. So I took them off this time and enjoyed the damp ground from the rain two nights previous. I made my way quietly down the trail looking steadily for all the animals which would ultimately elude me. I reached the riverbed and walked to my favorite spot on the rocks. Today being a Tuesday, I was entirely alone in this fantastic place for some time.

I put down my guitar and backpack and did yoga for a while in various places, over pools of rainwater and up against the natural limestone monuments. I left bodymarks of upside-down torsos in sweat and contributed to the remnants of the recent rains one drop at a time. When there's no moving water you can actually get into the crevices and dig around for whatever's smaller than you. Some of them are over five feet deep! But today I just found a bunch of swimming mosquito larvae. And I can hardly wait to see them again. Then, while I was stretching my legs over one of these gaps, one of the biggest stinking grasshoppers I have ever seen flew right by me... five inches at least! Seriously. This thing would break a windshield. It would either shatter right through it or scare the driver so much they'd veer off the road and find a telephone pole. John Mandeville would have run in the other direction.

Anyway, I had a chance to follow it and get my face really close to it. It just looked at me like it had a thousand eyes and not a care in the world. It seemed to know we don't eat grasshoppers here. Well, not yet. I imagine they'd be fried and sold ten or twelve at a time. You could have traded this thing for a new wife in other parts of the world. This thing was truly massive. I enjoyed seeing this absolute beast while it lasted. He flew away with the flutter and the clutter of a traincar never to be seen by me again. I went back and rested in the sun for a bit longer until I felt like climbing.

There's a great cave overlooking the entire area. It's been a home to several transient folk and even more lazy loungers. I climbed all the way up with my backpack and guitar and rested in the shade. I started things off with a little bit of throat singing. I rattled the trees, the birds and the hills. I even had a shouting match with a cicada. He was angry and thought I was going to get all of his fantastic bug sex instead of him. Anyway, he barely had a longer growl, so hopefully he felt like a big winner. I didn't make any mention of my projected lifespan. That would have really pissed him off. My vibrations spooked a wandering dog enough for him to just stare at me from a hundred yards out. "There those damn humans go again with their fancy shmancy vocal chords," he must have thought. Regardless, he kept drooling and  I still wish I could howl convincingly.

I played my guitar in the shade of the cave for a while until I heard a phantom drum playing along with me. The hits came closer and closer until the drum was in sight. My eyes aren't those of a bird anymore and I can't say I pay explicit attention to every vagabond who comes through there, but I knew who it was when he came up the cliffside and farther, entering the cave.

I met Angelo while I was fundraising for an environmental nonprofit group. In those days, I'd annoy about 400 people a day in the streets on Air's behalf. I met so many good people. I still can't believe I got to have that job. The last time I saw Angelo we talked on a terraced spillway which reminded me of an ancient Babylonian garden. It's so perfectly green at our local natural springs. And a butterfly rested on my leg that day during our conversation. He was right when he said I'd have good luck. But today we were on [and in] rocks.

He's lived an especially raucous life, and I'd call him a sage. He spends his time making spiritual tools, staffs and the like. He's lost two homes since I've known him. He lives outside now. You know, we all actually Iive outside. Some of us just have walls and things hanging over our heads to break our line of sight.

He brought up his drum and we banged on it for a while. With one pop of the finger, we sent shockwaves ringing across the zip codes, something the nearest dogs certainly didn't enjoy. I like talking to him. He's so enlightened. Some people have lost so much they truly don't care what's in front of them anymore and they simply don't have the energy to do anything but be kind. We shared some spicy trail mix with some wasabi peas and talked about lore. He told me how to make my huge buzzard feather look like a huge hawk feather. And I'm gonna do it.

We talked about bugs and his recent experience with Willie Nelson. I won't get too into it, but when Angelo picked up his drum while Willie was playing, Willie said, "Hey man. Don't screw up a good thing."

Angelo told me about the time the resident Falcon came and sat in front of him at the very same place. The sage was perched on the ledge of the cave contemplating the state of "things" when this Falcon landed in a branch no more than twenty feet from him. He said the bird stared at him for a couple of minutes, which in Falcon time is about twenty mice. Then, for no particular reason, the bird flipped around and promptly tore out two of its tail feathers. Angelo confusedly watched them drift to the ground below. Then, it shrieked at him for some time before it flew away. As Angelo put it, "That bird cussed the hell outta me, man. If that wasn't an omen, I don't know what is!" I don't know what it meant to him, but those feathers now live at the top of his staff next to his homemade dreamcatcher.

I left the cave and headed back towards the car after a little bit more banging on the drum. On my way out I passed the only other person there. She was leaving after a mere fifteen minutes. I'd have trouble living a life as busy as that, but at least the rocks were there when she needed them. I have a feeling they'll always be there for that reason alone. It's such a therapeutic place. It was really great to see Angelo again. I know he'll be taking care of that place for a while, making sure the rains come and go as is needed. And I can't wait to see him again, wherever it might be.

What is this life and why do we walk it? What is this life and how do we learn it? What is this life and where will it take us? What is this life and when will we return it to Love?
______________________________________

I found this picture online. It's the exact location, shot from inside the cave. But right now there's no water! If you go to the "View and Comments" option in the photo galleries, you can view images full size... something I recommend for this one. I just found out about that!
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_____________________________________________________________

Posted on Sep 19th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Dscf0063
Understand the distance from one to zero and we will finally be.  Detachment is so powerful. It exists as a vehicle for exponential inspiration. Ideals live in the minds of all. But our hearts breathe more than breath.
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Tagged with: Ideals

Wu! :D

Posted on Sep 12th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Enlightenment
A monk asked Chao-chou Ts'ung-shen: "Does a dog also have the Buddha nature?"

Chao-chou answered: "Wu!"

:D

Here's the story on the Chinese word "Wu" according to Wikipedia.
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Wu (pinyin:Wú)
is a word which can be roughly translated as "without" or "have not".
While typically used as a prefix to imply the absence of something, it
is more famously used as a response to certain koans and other questions in Zen Buddhism, intending to indicate that the question itself was wrong.

The 'Wu' koan is as follows: A monk asked Zen master Zhaozhou, a Chinese Zen Master (in Japanese, Jōshū): "Has a dog Buddha-nature or not?", Zhaozhou answered: "Wú" (in Japanese, Mu).

Some earlier Buddhist thinkers had maintained that creatures such as dogs did
have the Buddha-nature; others, that they did not. Therefore, to answer
"no" is to deny their wisdom, whereas to say "yes" would appear to
blindly follow their teachings. Zhaozhou's answer has subsequently been
used by generations of zen students as their initiation into the zen
experience.

Since the expression 'wu' in Chinese is similar to
the sound the Chinese use to imitate a dog's 'woof', an alternate
'explanation' of the utterance has been proposed suggesting that
Zhaozhou was imitating a dog in reply, i.e., he answered the question
by 'being' the dog. This is consistent with the general principle
that Koan 'answers' usually involve adopting radical change of
perspective, instead of a logical or linguistic 'answer'.

_________________________________________________________

So, who wu like to try it?    ... :D

I don't have much to say about this. I just like the idea of articulating [interestingly] this sort of mental inconsistency.

Alright. Upon further inspection, I do have something to say about it :D



I've recently been stuck on the importance of personal expression. It's
increasingly apparent we need to express ourselves verbally in direct
relation to the progress we've made mentally. It's interesting. All the
same arguments seem to be present in the minds of most everyone.
Everyone is constantly at war with desires which, at their root, derail
us from the true path of understanding. We're all trying to convince
ourselves our lives have meaning, but no one is seemingly willing to
exemplify the emotional riches to be derived from a truly quiet mind.
We're all faced with overcoming obstacles and barriers in our emotional
life, but I suppose the trick is in the ability and the willingness to
disclose our most prized spiritual conclusions. It's so hard to
maintain a grasp on the progress made on the path to enlightenment when
all thoughts are simply "present" in the mind. I suppose it would be
beneficial to articulate them and keep them in some order, even if it
is only in respect to time. At least they'd have been manifested once.
The things we say maintain a tremendous importance in the validation of
our emotional choices and conclusions. They seem to be so necessary in
the battle to trust ourselves.

So, I guess I'm going to
have to risk being just a bit off-putting to some at times. Hopefully,
the [eventual] emotional value will superesede any social discomfort it
might carry in the moment. If these things need to be said, they will
be said. I have not come to any of my conclusions through any form of
dubiety. Yes, dubiety is essential in the initial questioning of any
given social standard, but it should hardly be seen as a fundament of my
worldview. In this regard, I admire mathematicians. I stand in awe of
their practical manipulation of the notion of infinity. Emotionally
speaking, the notion of infinity is essential in discerning the
implications of a moral precedent when carried out in a social setting.
That's the way it seems to me, anyway. It pushes to light all
possibilities of reactions of all people and weighs them against the
inferred proportion of brotherly love to he who considers. Regardless,
doubt is the idiots' plague and the sages'
contrivance. It's rivalled by an equal measure of trust and it's
compelled by an undeniable acceptance of love.

So... the words we say matter so much to everyone and ourselves.
In that regard, it is important for us to encourage the disclosure of
our findings to everyone, and especially ourselves. I think meditation
helps, also.

In summation, Wu!


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The public eye IS the private eye!

Posted on Sep 11th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Grapes
It's terrific being immersed in a thing like Zaadz with such an abundance of purely good intention. But the goal is to find that purely good intention in everyone else who isn't making it a priority :D That comes with comfort in the moment. Comfort in the moment comes from understanding public perception is still inherently based upon emotional conclusions, the very same conclusions we draw in each of our intimate relationships.

Living a life in the public eye would be an interesting task. It's the goal of humans to be emotionally omniscient, to be able to relate personally to anyone regardless the circumstances. What better practice than to have a conversation with society as a whole? It'd be like a mental and emotional game of "fill in the blanks" for the "doer", if you will. I don't think there would be many things better than having 300 million people considering your most difficult issues with you... and I dare say "for you." I suppose that's why it's enviable to "live the fast life". It's just a question of whether or not a person is ready to have all of their problems solved without ever asking for any help in the first place. Interesting.

And to the person who says he/she isn't able to have a dialogue with the culture as a whole, I say, "you already are." Nowadays, with this technology, everyone is able to get exposure to an equal amount of "stimulus" in any given day, regardless the chosen life path. It's the ability to recognize it as such which will help find a more quiet mind. Trust in one another and we'll begin to see the massive potential that is life in all places. There is nothing but goodness in all things.

It's an abundance :D

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I'll idolize you in a minute!

Posted on Sep 4th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Sts104_launch_arc_-_1024x768
For so long I've been trying to convey why I have such a terrifically deep rooted opposition to this notion of finding an "American Idol". I'm going to get it out now.

First and foremost, idolatry has little or nothing to do with any variant of the concept of nationalism. It's a question of personal reverence, of using another person's life as a veritable backboard upon which one might base his/her own life decisions. It transcends terrestrial borders and gives little regard to things such as patriotism. I find this modern action to be the result of two possibilities.

This is the first, which required me to look past a great many inconsistencies exemplified by our current lack of emotional sactity. Either we hold our culture, as perfectly commonplace humans, to be of sufficient experience and servitude to the Humane greatness of Life that we feel ourselves to be capable of the task of seeking, uncovering, justifying and abiding by our very own version of an idol's presence [for the entire world]....

Or... this is the big one which makes a bit better sense to me. There is an opportunity presented by our very own desire to be prosperous in the most basic sense. Prosperity has unquestionably shifted its residence into fiscal functionality in the minds of most. We all want what's best for one another, for our families and for our friends. We all want to instill and maintain an ever-increasing number of instances rich with laugher and love into our families' legacies. But in this age of material indulgence, of external living, we have subjugated our own emotional health for what is an illusion of tangible wealth. We have forgotten that monetary wealth is nothing but a tool. It is nothing but a means by which we measure our own emotional successes and failures. The pursuit of happiness has little, rather, has nothing to do with six, seven, eight, nine or even ten figure incomes [and more yet at times]. Happiness exists when we satisfy emotional responsibility to one another in humane terms. When we all treat eachother [and all things] as our soils and toils already demand, all our biological systems will finally be functioning fluidly, without blockages or conflicting [mental] priorities. It's animalism, using our body at 100%. It's just that we're having a bit of difficulty naming the emotions we use on the way there. There will still be injury, but we will at least be certain we are healing as fast as we possibly can, biologically speaking. Oh yeah... and the quality of life of all things will improve worldwide.

Now, there is a legitimate chance both of these ideas are actually being employed right now in the collective conscience of the American people. I think they are, personally, but I'm painfully optimistic.

Here's the deal, folks. Idols aren't uncovered. Their views are not disseminated by  "professionally perfected professors of promulgation". Moreover, they are not provided with a podium from which they might profess! They stand. They stand over all facets of industry, all colors of culture and certainly all manners of mediocrity [but they wouldn't say that]. And they do this on their own.

We're coming to a point in time when we, especially us living in the most imaginatively fruitful part of the world, are coming to terms rather immediately with our own biological capabilities. With our own words we are, every one of us, capable of mandating terrific change in both ourselves and others. And there is no boundary. Never before have we been able to relate to people's aspirations to be idolized.  It stands as a testament to a cultural shift towards a desire to be enlightened! It stands as a validation of the social imperative of accountability itself, be it biological, humane, moral or emotional. Perhaps we have a chance to articulate this notion finally as a civilization. Never before have we been lucky enough to consider the magnitude of such an occupation in real time. And by "real time", I mean from the beginning of the process we call enlightenment. And by "occupation", I mean the conscious existence in a person of both the willingness to become and the capability of becoming an idol.

So, I guess I'm not actually opposed to the show anymore. Without the show, I wouldn't have been in such a place to comment on these ideas. I guess I'm gonna leave it at that, then.
 



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"All things are with more spirit chased than enjoyed"-Shakespeare

Posted on Aug 30th, 2006 by theresalwaystomorrow : theresalwaystomorrow theresalwaystomorrow
Anxiety_munch_anx_lg
That's Edvard Munch's painting "Anxiety"...

Today I listened to Will Durant's "The Greatest Minds and Ideas of All Time" while I played with my dogs.

Durant has drawn some terrific conclusions and proven rather poignantly that I have little more than a rudimentary knowledge of all historical things pertinent to this life. But I wanted to share something regarding the nature of love. With such a scarce historical knowledge, many things in this book were plainly dazzling to me and my imaginative tendencies, but this one in particular was especially comforting.

Durant listed his "10 Greatest Poets" and Shakespeare was rightfully included. He noted how Will had, for a time, been invited to present plays at a court. During this time, he was in the company of many noblemen and presumably twice as many beautiful women. He fell in love with one of these women and it is during this time that his spirit embraced humor and love most colorfully. William notes:

"But love is never quite content. In its secret heart is a poisonous anxiety, a premonition of alienation and decay."

What motivates one to love? A poisonous anxiety. It's all consuming... a premonition of alienation and decay and a fear of turning one's back on something incredible. These words speak to the immediacy we must place upon the acknowledgement and embracement of love while we are here and able to experience it. The idea of loving singularly, in one direction alone, cannot ever be constant because it changes as quickly as the Earth, as large as the Earth truly is. And in an unfortunate turn of events, we humans currently define love as a purely sapiens endeavor. It actually lives among all things, regardless the presence of a quantifiable intellect or a spoken language.

This "poisonous anxiety" is the emotional inertia which draws a person to love others in the first place. It is energy or self-love, the resilience of an individually chosen existence. The "premonition of alienation and decay" probably refers to the near "obligation" one feels in life to share love with others before his/her time is gone. It is also a direct acknowledgement of one's own mortality, reinforcing the notion of the immediacy of this obligation.

I think he pretty much pinned it. He stated perfectly what I would consider to be the most daunting obstacles we create for ourselves in this life. But, then again, he's describing love, the most awesome aspect of this life to confront head-on. It is the standard by which we will be judged every time by every other person (and inadvertantly ourselves again). Leave it to this master of prose to define perfectly well what we go through each and every time we actually decide to change our lives in any way, poisonous anxiety with a premonition of alienation and decay on the side. We're so hard on ourselves.


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